Stephen and I loved to travel. In our ten years together, we visited twelve different countries.
This is a very impressive statistic, given that our first five years together were occupied with me studying for actuarial exams, and we had the COVID years where international travel was practically impossible. Once you subtract out all those hiccups, we only had three full years together where we weren’t dealing with grueling study hours and/or pandemics! It’s a testament to how much life we crammed into a relatively brief amount of time.
When Stephen died, I had to accept that I’d lost my favorite travel buddy. But that didn’t mean that I was going to stop traveling.
Two weeks after Stephen died, I realized that I needed to give myself something to live for, to see me through the very darkest days of grief. And I felt him nudging me to take a particular trip. For years, I’d dreamed of going snorkeling in Indonesia. It’s widely regarded as the best snorkeling in the entire world, and I wanted to see really healthy, vibrant coral reefs before it was too late. (If you aren’t familiar with coral bleaching and the frightening rates at which reefs are dying, please watch Chasing Coral on Netflix.)
I felt guided towards a ten day liveaboard snorkeling trip with the tour company Snorkel Venture, cruising through the incredible reefs of Raja Ampat. It happened to cost the exact amount of money I’d set aside in savings for travel, so I took that as a sign and impulsively booked it. It was a bit nerve-wracking to accept that I’d be sharing a room with a complete stranger, but it felt like what I was supposed to be doing, so I trusted my instincts and took a leap of faith.
A few months after I booked the trip, Snorkel Venture gave me the contact information for my roommate, so we could get to know each other before meeting in person. When I reached out to my roomie Pam to introduce myself and tell her why I was going on the trip, and I received her response back, I started crying tears of joy. Pam is a widow from Australia. She is funny, adventurous, kind, and an amazing listener. After just a couple emails from her, I knew that Stephen really was guiding me to take this specific trip. He’s still my travel buddy in spirit!
Anyone who knew me before I met Stephen would know that there was exactly a 0% chance that I would have taken a trip like this by myself 10 years ago. But after all my years of traveling with him, I knew I could do it. Spending over 24 hours on planes, navigating a layover in Doha (awesome airport, by the way!), finding my way to a hotel in Jakarta where I would meet a tour group filled with a bunch of strangers… Even as I write this, I’m amazed that I did this all by myself! But it felt effortless. I felt totally in my element and didn’t have a drop of anxiety. I just knew deep down that it was going to be the trip of a lifetime.
This trip was everything I hoped it would be and more! In addition to seeing jaw-dropping quantities of stunning corals and fish, I learned a few things about myself:
- I’m not alone! Me and Pam were not the only widows on the trip. We met a fun, vibrant couple from Florida, both widowed and now happily remarried. It was so healing for me to be surrounded by people who knew exactly what it felt like to lose a spouse. They were all so encouraging, comforting, and gave me a lot of hope for my future.
- I’m seriously adventurous! This was not a relaxing vacation. We were snorkeling 3 to 4 times a day, and each session in the water was at least one hour long. The typical daily schedule was: Eat, Snorkel, Eat, Snorkel, Eat, Snorkel, Eat (and then maybe go on a night snorkel!). I tried free diving, jumped off the bow of the boat (a 20 foot drop!), and even got stung on the upper lip by a jellyfish. I felt like a badass.
- I like traveling with strangers! I was using this trip as a trial run to see if I enjoyed traveling with a tour group. After just a few days with the other travelers, I felt like I’d known them my whole life. We all got on amazingly well – everyone was funny, kind, and adventurous. I really felt like we were all kindred spirits. I’m excited to go on more trips like this, especially with Snorkel Venture. (Here I come, Komodo!)
Flying Solo
There is something incredibly empowering about knowing that I can have a crazy idea (I want to go snorkeling on the other side of the world!) and have the ability to make it happen all by myself. Of course it would have been super fun to have Stephen there with me, but I honestly had an amazing time without him! Being a solo traveler frees up your time and energy to connect with new people, and I was truly honored to get to know the travelers, guides, and crew. I felt like I was living in a floating utopian paradise; what a beautiful assortment of human beings on the Coralia last January!
I’ll wrap up this post with a collection of underwater photos. Because it would be remiss of me to spend ten days swimming with fish and not show you any pictures of them. 🙂
Raja Ampat
