Author: Erin
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Is it Okay to Feel Happy?
I’ve been wrestling with what I call “happiness guilt” for months. Last year, I was spending some quality time with one of my friends, and she asked me very sincerely, “Do you ever feel guilty about being happy?” This question might not make sense to people who haven’t experienced losing someone in a tragic, untimely… Read more
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Gifts from Kelvin
People are certainly not the only beings in this world that can teach us things. Animals can be just as inspiring. An influential part of my grieving process when I lost Steve was taking time to reflect and honor the ways in which I grew during our relationship. I thought I’d do the same thing… Read more
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Today Was a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day
In the couple of months leading up to today, things were honestly going really great. I went on an amazing snorkeling trip to Indonesia, sold my house in Florida quickly for a great profit, and moved into a beautiful new apartment with my sister and our plethora of pets. I was finding walking trails to… Read more
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Things I Don’t Miss List
Let’s be honest, everyone can be frustrating sometimes. I wanted to start off this blog by honoring all of my favorite things about Steve. (Please check out my Gifts from Steve posts if you haven’t already.) But let’s get real for a minute. After a few months of intense grieving and dwelling on all the… Read more
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How Am I So Okay?
I’ve been asking myself this a lot lately. I felt a huge shift in my state of being about six months after Steve died. Everyone was telling me it would be a couple years before I felt like myself again, but somehow I returned to my usual joyful self in a mere half-year. I never… Read more
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Stephen Kirk, According to Others
“He was such a kind soul, full of positive energy.” This blog began with a series of posts about the ways that I grew during my life with Stephen. If you haven’t read those yet, please check out my Gifts from Steve series. These posts highlight some of my favorite memories and his best personality… Read more
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Gifts from Steve Part 7: Follow the Tao
When I think of the Tao, I picture rivers. And Winnie the Pooh. These may seem like completely unrelated things (unless you’re playing Poohsticks), but by the end of this post, I hope you’ll see how they are both profoundly connected to the principles of Taoism. On Sundays, I focus on following the Tao. If… Read more
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Gifts from Steve Part 6: Be Wabi-Sabi
Do you know what “wabi-sabi” is? No, it isn’t that spicy green stuff you get on the side with your sushi. Wabi-sabi is a Japanese aesthetic and philosophy that emphasizes accepting imperfection and finding beauty in the flawed nature of life. Stephen was a huge fan of the wabi-sabi way of life, and in my… Read more
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Gifts from Steve Part 5: Childlike Joy
Steve was really fun and funny. The End. Just kidding! I’ll say more than that about Steve’s sense of humor. But quite simply, Steve had a childlike joy that was truly inspiring. He had a good sense of what actually mattered in life, and he didn’t stress out over the minutia of “adulting.” On Fridays,… Read more
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Gifts from Steve Part 4: Prioritize Self-Care
If I can give any widow a word of advice, I would say you must prioritize self-care above all else. I’ve always had a tendency to overcommit to people and push myself to the point of exhaustion in my attempts to please everyone. Steve observed my occasional meltdowns whenever I’d make promises to too many… Read more
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Gifts from Steve Part 3: Adventurous Spirit
When I saw my dad for the first time after Steve died, he gave me a huge hug and said “He made you an adventurer.” My dad couldn’t be more right. Stephen encouraged me to try so many new things, and in my ten years with him, I went on adventures I never would have… Read more
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Gifts from Steve Part 2: Beautiful Confidence
Before I met Steve, I didn’t think I was beautiful. Steve noticed my insecurities about my physical appearance early on in our relationship, and quickly started helping me to become more confident in my natural beauty. On Tuesdays, I focus on carrying myself with beautiful confidence. I’m not exactly sure when I started feeling so… Read more
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Gifts from Steve Part 1: Savor Little Things
In my ten years with Steve, I learned a lot about living a more joyful, well-rounded life. As part of my grieving process, I identified seven “gifts from Steve”. These are qualities that I always admired about him, and that I incorporated into my life during our love story. I meditate on each one once… Read more