When I think of the Tao, I picture rivers. And Winnie the Pooh.
These may seem like completely unrelated things (unless you’re playing Poohsticks), but by the end of this post, I hope you’ll see how they are both profoundly connected to the principles of Taoism.
On Sundays, I focus on following the Tao.
If you’ve never heard of the Tao or Taoism, no judgment here! I didn’t know anything about it before I met Stephen. He was a deeply spiritual person and studied many religious paths, but he took a very special interest in the Asian traditions of Buddhism and Taoism.
I will probably always identify as a Christian because it was a significant part of my upbringing and family traditions. But these days, I am more interested in reading the Tao de Ching than the Bible. I would call myself a Christian Taoist. I think there is so much wisdom in the teachings of Lao Tzu, and Stephen and I enjoyed discussing the parallels and shared values between the teachings of Lao Tzu and Jesus.
About a year into our relationship, he recommended that I read The Tao of Pooh.
The Tao of Pooh is easily one of my favorite books ever. It is funny, lighthearted, easy to read, and it explains the principles of Taoism in a very accessible way using characters we all know and love. If you really want to understand Taoism, please stop reading this post and read this book instead! But if you want to hear my very rudimentary explanation of the Tao, I suppose you can keep reading. 🙂
The Tao is the flow of the universe. Our lives are like a river. We are all moving in a direction, navigating bends, rocks, fallen logs, and other surprises along the way. Some sections are very calm, and other parts are like a whitewater rapids. And the current is the Tao. A lot of us try to control our lives and swim against the current, but the basic idea of Taoism is to let the current guide you. And one of the greatest practitioners of Taoism is Winnie the Pooh. He is amazingly good at going with the flow of life and not trying to control or force things to be a certain way. He accepts life as it is and has a very simple faith that all will be well, without getting anxious like Piglet or frantic like Rabbit.
These are a few ways that I try to follow the Tao:
- Let go of control: When I was younger, I believed that I had a lot of control over my life circumstances. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that there are a lot of things I cannot control. For several months after Steve died, I didn’t want to accept reality. I wanted to somehow believe that if I could go back in time and do things differently, he would still be alive. But in our dimension, time is a river flowing in only one direction. I can’t swim against the current for the rest of my life. I eventually let myself float along with the flow of life, and I started to realize that there’s still so many beautiful parts of the river, even though I’ve lost one very important person.
- Accept change: I’m not always the best at accepting change. When things in my life are going well, I would like to pause time and savor it for awhile! Steve would sometimes remind me, “Change is the only constant.” Sometimes change is a wonderful blessing, and other times it is horribly tragic. But one thing I’ve discovered over the last year is that sometimes beautiful changes can bloom out of tragedy. Because Stephen died, I had the opportunity to move back to the Midwest to be closer to my family and my headquarters for work. I am excited to have more in-person visits with my awesome coworkers, and I am enjoying creating new memories with my family, like going contra dancing with my mom and watching my dog play in the snow!
- Simplicity: One of the things I love most about Winnie the Pooh is his simplicity. As long as he has a jar of honey, he seems pretty darn happy! We live in a society where we’re told that we need the newest technology, the fanciest house, and the nicest clothes to be happy. But none of that is true. I think we can find joy in living simply, as long as our basic needs are met. When I was preparing to move, I took the extra time to majorly downsize my belongings. I got rid of anything that I didn’t really want or need, and it felt very liberating to simplify my possessions. My mind feels clearer!
Going with the Flow
I find the lyrics of the old Shaker tune “Simple Gifts” to be incredibly Taoist. Now that you’ve had a very quick intro to the principles of Taoism, take a moment to reflect on these lyrics:
‘Tis the gift to be simple, ’tis the gift to be free,
‘Tis the gift to come down where we ought to be,
And when we find ourselves in the place just right,
‘Twill be in the valley of love and delight.
When true simplicity is gain’d,
To bow and to bend we will not be asham’d,
To turn, turn will be our delight,
Till by turning, turning we come round right.
I doubt that the Shakers thought of themselves as Taoists, but I don’t think it’s reaching too far to say that they understand what it means to follow the Tao! We must let go of control, accept change (and the things we cannot change), and trust that we will “come down where we ought to be.”
Thank you Steve, for introducing me to Taoism and helping me to follow the Tao.