Steve was really fun and funny. The End.
Just kidding! I’ll say more than that about Steve’s sense of humor. But quite simply, Steve had a childlike joy that was truly inspiring. He had a good sense of what actually mattered in life, and he didn’t stress out over the minutia of “adulting.”
On Fridays, I cultivate childlike joy.
I’m a big fan of The Office, and I love the moment when Jim is playing ping-pong in the warehouse and Pam says totally deadpan,”My boyfriend is 12.“
I would often reference this scene when Steve would be doing something particularly hilarious, like running down the street on stilts wearing a Santa hat, yelling “Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!” to all the neighbors, or using a zucchini noodle as a jump rope. (I’m not making this up!) He loved to make me laugh, and I loved to make him laugh. Being silly was a foundational part of our relationship.
One of the things I miss most about Steve is hearing him laugh. It was infectious. And I miss all of our inside jokes. I would just say the word “Westgate” and give him a look, and he’d start laughing. (I won’t even bother trying to explain why this is funny. That’s the problem with inside jokes… They’ll never make sense to anyone else!)
When I think back on all the joyful fun times we had together, these are a few moments that stand out:
- Dancing: Dancing was one of my favorite things to do with Stephen. We had something called “Dance O’Clock”, where we’d take a quick 15 minute break from our work and just dance. He loved spinning me around until I got so dizzy I’d almost fall over. Whenever one of us was in a weird mood, dancing was usually a quick remedy to put us back in joyful spirits.
- Board Games: I loved playing games with Stephen. We found that our brilliant minds worked very well together, so we dove deep into cooperative games. Then we weren’t competing against each other, but joining forces to beat the game. And we almost always won. Our favorite game was Legends of Andor. To make things extra fun and add to the sense of fantastical wonder, Stephen required that we both speak in British accents the entire time!
- Silly Side Extravaganzas: Stephen invented this day of fun to bring out our silly, childlike sides. It was nothing short of an extravaganza. There were a variety of different activities, including but not limited to Nerf gun battles, riding scooters inside the house, pillow fights, playing Mario Kart, and my personal favorite, throwing a box of bouncy balls from the balcony down into the living room (and then trying to find them all after they’d scattered all over the house.)
A day without laughter is a day wasted
When you lose your spouse, it will feel like you’ll never find joy or laughter again. But I’m here to tell you that happy days will come again. But it takes work. Every day, you have to actively seek out the little things that make you smile and fill your life with those things.
I am going to be getting an apartment with my sister soon. Anyone who knows Laura knows that she is funny. She has a laugh that fills the room, and she always has some funny story to tell from her job at the vet clinic. She fills my life with laughter and joy, just like Stephen did. I am so excited for this next chapter of my life and creating new hilarious memories with my lil sis.
Thank you Steve, for the thousands of moments of childlike joy that we shared.